nourishing & unapologetic
Wow. I took a blogging hiatus and didn't even mean to. Where does time go?! My apologies for the reckless abandonment. I could use too many words to tell you what we've been up to, but we'll save that for another day. I wanna talk about what's top of mind: our 1st anniversary! SERIOUSLY. We've been #MrandMrsBorn for a full year on this Sunday (September 28).
I'd being us all a disservice if I wasn't utterly honest in the following paragraphs. So, prepare yourself for a little too much adoration, frankness, and optimism. Admittedly, I am still a novice at being a wife, but I think there's value in transparency. Without further ado, here's what I've learned in the first year as Mrs. Born.
1. Marriage is hard work.
It takes an effort EVERY SINGLE DAY. No phoning it in. It's you and your partner against the world. Okay, it's not that dramatic. But once we had those wedding bands, the reality of this incredible partnership, privilege, and obligation set in. We entered into this union intentionally and we're doing our best to live intentionally with love. Nick will say it's not been too difficult. And I do agree, everything really has fallen into place. But it is challenging in just meshing the wants, needs, and expectations alongside the ebb and flow of life. There's more sorting out of schedules, joint priorities, and finances. There's more give and take, since obviously, you now live with this person 100% of the time; it's important to pick your battles. There's more pressure to be like "married people" should be--whatever that means. There's the questions about when the Born's are going to buy a house and when we'll have a baby. (We just want to be married for a bit people! Plus, we know that Nick's the natural with kids and I still have to get a little more knowledge under my belt.) We are learning to be married, as funny as that sounds. We're defining Mr. and Mrs. Born. Luckily hard work never hurt anyone, right?
2. Marriage is an excellent mirror.
It helps you see the best and worst of yourself. It has shown me that I more times than not I genuinely think of others first. It has helped me identify food as one of my expressions of love. (Not sure that's an official love language, but it ought to be.) I've learned that I am open to change. It's shown me that I was Born to be a wife. All that said, remember that worst part... well, I am incredibly impatient, I stay mad for too long, and I am a voice-raiser/yeller. Marriage has amplified these for me, not in the way of doing them more, but in that I notice them quicker and feel worse for them. Truth be told, I want to be an excellent personal life conflict manager and actually use the skills I know from a past professional role. Reality is I'm not there yet, these ugly tendencies/characteristics win out sometimes and those I love the most take the brunt. On top of that, I am also a worrier and methodical planner. Spontaneity is not my middle name. My need to try to anticipate everything drives Nick bananas. The good news is there's time to work on these things! (see point 3.)
3. Marriage is chock full of opportunities.
Really it is. Each day is ripe with the chance to make memories, try new things, and learn. There's also the chance for forgiveness and a new beginning after days you didn't do so well. For this I am thankful. Additionally, despite what the media and know-it-alls say, there is no legitimate, predefined perfect marriage. Each is unique just like the partners that make up that marriage. We get the enormous honor to make it our own and grow together to become our best selves. We're trying to take full advantage of what we have and build big dreams along the way.
4. Marriage rocks.
It is surely the best adventure I've taken thus far.
Now for the mushy stuff because I can, it's my blog after all. Though I am not sure it's possible, I think I love Nicholas more now than I did almost 365 days ago. Here's the rundown of why he's stolen my heart day after day:
He's perpetually happy. He's the optimist I wish I could be. He's brilliant and curious. His sense of humor is top notch. He's abnormally patient for the most part. He's extremely multifaceted (I mean, really, how many other white collar professionals do you know who can plumb, dig, and mechanic? He's just as comfortable in a slim fit suit and tie as he is Wranglers and boots). And let's not forget, he's genetically gifted (gorgeous and 6% body fat without even trying [not fair BTW]). But most of all, he's confident and unapologetic for who he is. (Oh and he "gets" me and loves more for it.)
We've been asked what we're planning to do to celebrate. If we could have another big wedding we'd totally do it in a heartbeat. Ours was a night filled with our favorite people having the best time together. But since we've gotta save something for a more monumental anniversary, we'll probably cook a good meal we both enjoy and eat a bit of the top tier of our wedding cake and just be. We might dance around our living room. We might toast to the future. And, we've got an activity planned that correlates with the first year gift tradition of paper too, so we'll see how that turns out. It might appear on the blog at a later date. We've been calling September #MarriageMonth. Most who know me know I rarely limit a holiday or special occasion to one day...the more festiveness the better! Though this month is as busy as it normally is, we've tried to do more things together that are outside of our typical routine. Last week we went apple picking at a local orchard just because. It was a beautiful evening spent in the country (you'll read more about that in a later post too). So, we might just to make #MarriageMonth an annual thing...
And, what would an anniversary post be without a flashback of some favorite moments:
Happy First Anniversary, Lovebird! May we have many, many more years filled with shenanigans, silly photos, lots of food, laughter, ambition, contentment, and memories.
Here's to all those celebrating love this day, week, month or season! Cheers from #MrandMrsBorn!
Until next time. xo-
PS for anyone planning a wedding and wanting their own celebratory hashtag, consider it's longevity. I still use ours to tag pictures and it's come in quite handy.
PPS Wedding tip #2: invest in your photographer. We adore the images Mike and Julie at JSI captured. I've found myself looking at these photos a lot this month reliving the wedding that set the tone for our marriage. We lucked out finding these two! Thank you again for documenting us in all our joy and revelry.