I wasn’t going to write anything.
I wasn’t going to feel anything.
I wasn’t going to be different.
It wasn’t going to be different.
Except it was.
This year is different.
It was going to be my first official Mother’s Day. And, I guess it is. But, my heart knows it’s not what we planned. It’s not the same.
If you hear or read a twinge of sadness, you’re right. It’s there. But I’m doing my damndest to channel that hope in my soul.
In the light of the impending holiday, I have a few suggestions to my fellow mommas-in-waiting, those who still have empty arms and a chunk of their hearts still missing, those who’ve suffered a loss during pregnancy or after, and those who have had failed adoptions. This could also apply to those who've lost their mother or estranged, I suppose too.
1. Find your kind.
Literally, find your kind. Find the ladies who have walked this path, and those still in the midst of it. These are the folks who can really relate to the experience, the emotions, the emptiness, and the impatience. Connect with them via social, text, a call, or in person. Talk it out or be quiet together. Lend your support and send a little love on this day. It's hard for everyone but hard is better together, usually. I think.
Also, find your kind. Be kind to yourself. Remind yourself that the lack or the loss isn't your fault. It isn't in vain. And, it isn't over. Practice some self-care.
2. Expect the awkwardness.
People, including your closest family and friends, don't know what to say. And, what can they say? Sometimes what's said hurts more than helps. But, let's try to understand, even if someone says all the wrong things, they're trying to fill the space. They think they need to say something to show their sympathy or empathy usually because they really, really care and want what is best for us. And let's be brutally honest and self-aware, generally we don't know what to say back which is awkward for them too. Plus, if they weren't saying anything, then how would we feel? So, let's give our crew and the well-meaning strangers, the benefit of the doubt. Grace is a gift we can give them and it helps us too. Accept that the awkwardness will happen and embrace it. Say thank you for their sentiment or dive in and have a conversation if you feel so moved.
3. Eat your favorite food or something totally indulgent.
All the health experts and nutritionists probably would tell you emotional eating is bad. And, probably a poor coping mechanism. But, I'm here to tell you that there is something special about your favorite food -- be it a fudgy brownie, a tart lemon bar, a double-dip cone, or heap of chips and guac. Whatever your go-to is, make it or order it. And don't second guess it. Calories don't apply here.
4. Get some sunshine and some moves in.
For me, getting some steps in outside not only gives me a dose of Vitamin D and some fresh air, but gives me a chance to dream and think big thoughts. I always feel refreshed after a walk or a yoga sesh.
5. Love on the mommas in your life.
This can be a hard one in particular on this day. But do it anyway if you can. Tell them they’re doing a good job. Tell them what you admire about their approach to #momlife. Tell them why they’re special to you. Our relationships with other women are so important. You know the gals I’m talking about: Your momma gave you life. Relish if you’ve still got a grandma or two around. And don’t forget to love those sisters and sister-in-laws who gifted you the most precious nieces and nephews on the planet. Love on your momma friends; they are a good group to learn from — plus you were probably friends with many of them BEFORE they had kids in tow. These are our examples. These are our role models. These are our future babysitters, play dates, and room mom crews.
6. Know you are still a rockin’, strong, rad, beautiful soul that gives the world her best.
Through the monthly disappointment and spontaneous tears, you are still you. And that is enough. Totally enough.
Note, these are just suggestions. By all means, if you just can't do any of these, and you just need space and quiet, take it.
And, tomorrow, if you happen to go to church, and you get to the inevitable portion of the sermon when the pastor or priest asks all the mothers to stand up and be recognized, do what feels right. If you want to stand because you have a babe in Heaven, stand tall. If you want to sit because it doesn’t feel right to stand, stay planted, but don’t shrink. And if the well-meaning little in your family asks for another flower for you too (because her mom and grandma have one), accept it with grace. You’ve earned that flower.
Mommin’ is hard. No matter what stage you’re in or if you haven’t even got to really start it yet. All mommas matter.
For now, I’m going to be a momma-in-waiting. But I know it’s going to be worth the wait.
Until next time,
Hey there. It's been a while. Like, an unacceptably long while. I could tell you that I've been reflecting/letting my new age marinate but let's get real. Life is full.
Freakin' full of mostly good stuff.
Since I've last posted I've legitimately launched my real estate business. I have a listing (yes, check out the home I got the privilege of taking on as my first listing! You might know someone for whom it would be the perfect fit...and if so, please refer them my way.) Plus, I have two buyers I'm currently working with. Albeit small, it's a start. Let's hope this is the beginning of a rocking' real estate career.
Anyway, I've have been 30 for more than a month now. Yep, I turned 3-0 on February 1st. Funny how time works though, because I am writing this post around the time my momma tells me shoulda been my due date. (5 weeks early folks, that's how I roll. I was supposed to be a Pisces. Looks like my proclivity to overachieve must have been developed in the womb.)
A lot of people have asked how I was handling giving up my twenties. And you know what, I was happy to kick them to the curb. I'd had them for 10 years after all (buh dum bump, haha!) But in all seriousness, I was pretty eager and open to my impending birthday. My twenties were predictably filled with milestones and unpredictably marked by awesome moments you couldn't even have dreamt up. Now, in the spirit of full disclosure, I did spend a little too much time in Sephora searching for anti-aging cream...but I think that's probably a rite of passage. (And, totally hit me up if you have any to die for rituals or products!)
Word on the street is your 30s are when all the good stuff happens. Maybe it's because at this point you've sloughed off most of your self-consciousness, loved and lost and loved again, built your tribe, fostered your passions, and grown into who you're supposed to be all along.
So what to do if you're nearing the big 3-0, or another big year? Well, in my humble opinion, I think you absolutely MUST:
5. Take an inventory of the good things in your life, all that you have to be grateful for, and the cool opportunities you have ahead.
4. Plan a trip during your birthday month (or within the year). It could be to anywhere-- near, far, or exotic, just get away for a while.
3. Throw yourself a kickin' party and invite as many of your crew as possible. Be sure to serve your favorites sips and sweets!
2. Wear an outfit that makes you feel comfortable, spectacular, gorgeous (insert your own adjective here).
1. Own it :: Rock it :: Be it
And to help soften the blow for my friends and readers who've not hit thirty yet (or those who are struggling with whatever age comes next), I've compiled some of the redeeming qualities your birthday brings.
PS For those of you in the Forever 29 camp, there are plenty of us who will enjoy 30 for you. But, consider joining us soon! You've earned it!
In case you're wondering how I ushered in my big birthday, I coordinated a fiesta at our home with some of our nearest and dearest (minus those who couldn't make it). We had a "It's NACHO birthday" bar and plenty of dessert and drinks. Here's the high level recap in photos. Thanks to everyone who came to celebrate with us! And, I so appreciate all the birthday love I received throughout the month. Y'all are the best!
Until next time!
On a scale of the Grinch to Buddy, I'm here. ------>
People, we're 10 days away from Christmas.
I'm not ready. Let's tally shall we.
Decorated tree: yes.
Lights on house: yes. (thanks, Husband!)
Christmas music on blast: mostly not.
Presents bought: five.
Holiday treats made: 1 batch of cookies.
Christmas card designed: almost.
Christmas cards sent: zero.
Looks like I have my work cut out for me.
There's something about this time of year that makes us all feel obligated to do, to give, to see, to enjoy. We cover our houses with tchotchkes, trees, and more. We jam pack our schedules with get-togethers, dinners, and outings. We jot self-allocated tasks on to our seemingly endless to-do lists. We indulge in extra sweets and drinks we might normally skip. We force our families to carve time out to snap perfect card-worthy, smiling photos. We search high and low for just the perfect gift for someone, who, in reality, probably doesn't need a single thing.
Whew, that doesn't actually sound joyful at all.
But, really even in the hustle and bustle and verge of panic, I think this season is fab. All of the things, obligations, tasks, and treats...they exist because, all in all, life is usually pretty good. Good, of course, is relative. It's in the eye of the beholder. This isn't the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. Though, from my vantage point, albeit a cocoa-fueled, elf-inspired, Christmas light glow haze, December is pretty grand.
Let's reframe. We fill our homes with lights, glitter, and ribbon and trim our trees with sentimental ornaments. We see our nearest and dearest, and the far-flung friends too, at the get-togethers, dinners, and outings. We run around our communities checking things off our to-do lists. We help someone in need or donate items to a local drive. We indulge in delightful sweets and drinks without worrying about the calorie count. We make time to capture a memory or two that graces our annual Christmas card which we can share with people who matter to us. We search high and low for just the gift that will make someone else's eyes light up on Christmas morning.
Ah, perspective. It's a beautiful thing.
Let's all take a moment to remember that our too much means there's not too little. This time of year is our annual reminder to pause, to enjoy, to celebrate, to take stock of our abundance, and to give thanks. I'm challenging myself to take advantage of this season. All of it.
Let's relish the love, the goodies, the time, and otherwise.
Spread cheer or tidings (or whatever) however you please.
Join me, won't you?
Until next time--
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This is a story. A story of love and carbs, and change.
I do carbs well (like A+ skill). I love love and do it pretty well. And change, that one, whew, not so much... but life it is a funny thing.
We moved to Wichita a little over two years ago for Nick's job. Starting our life here meant I left a job that I really liked. Looking back, I actually loved it. But, we made this move together. I agreed to our move without hesitation and excitement because I love Nick and I love us. And, because he got the offer many others in his field covet.
So, I got a new job in Wichita. We actually started our new jobs the same day. My experience at my new job in Wichita allowed me some great experiences planning big events, helping craft concentrated marketing efforts, connecting with some impressive people, and develop some good relationships. I had a good run in that position. But I started this blog because I wanted to share stories and honest reflections (and great food!). Accordingly, I have to be transparent. In this position, I struggled with my authenticity, the value I provided, my work-life balance, and, frankly, my happiness. Thus, I reached a tipping point and had to make a change. YES, I inserted change, BIG CHANGE, into my own life.
Switching jobs is scary. Leaving one that is stable, poised for possible growth, and reasonably compensated for one that is for lesser pay well that's enough to send a lifelong risk-manager into a tailspin. This is where the love comes in. Throughout my entire job search and interview process, Nick was the paramount cheerleader. He was my champion. He provided me the permission I thought I needed to walk away from something fine for something that could bring me new challenge and more peace. He did give me some tough love and a quasi-mandate to make a decision and not look back, either way no matter what I chose.
It came down to taking the risk. Or facing regret. I would have only stayed in my former position out of fear of the unknown. So I had some lengthy consultation with those I love the most and did some soul-searching. Then I went to sleep. Yes, I slept on it. Then I woke up and charged ahead on decision day resolved to take the leap. I found this quote that describes the feeling I had, "And suddenly you just know it's time to start something new and trust the magic of new beginnings."
In this journey, perhaps amplified by ever nearing end of my twenties, I've come to realize giving my energy and time to something that fulfills you is critical. Adding value to your life and the lives of others is awesome and necessary. Moreover, happiness is important. Happiness with self, work, and life. If something is standing in the way of happiness you have to move it or move you. New beginnings only happen if we make them happen.
I am happy to report that I think I'm going to love my new job. I get the opportunity to tell the stories of our community's school district. I get to showcase what's good about public education and the success of students and teachers. I also get to help foster opportunities for support. Other bonuses about this new job: Practically no more extra hours. Nick and I have about the same schedule. And it frees me up to take another leap, errrr, well perhaps tip toe into the world of real estate (more on this when there's more to report.) It's true that the newness hasn't worn off, but it's safe to say I made the right choice.
All this change makes me hungry. Carbs, shall we? Let's talk donuts. Better yet, pumpkin donuts.
with Cinnamon Cream Cheese Icing
Original Donut Recipe from King Arthur Flour
Makes 18 donuts
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 1/2 cups granulated sugar
1 1/2 cups canned pumpkin (not pie filling)
1 1/2 teaspoons pumpkin pie spice
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
1 3/4 + 2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.
2. In large mixing bowl, mix all ingredients with hand or stand mixer until well blended.
3. Stir in flour until smooth.
4. Spoon batter into non-stick sprayed standard donut pan. Fill wells about 3/4 full.
5. Bake for 15-18 minutes. Let cool in pan for 2-3 minutes then move donuts out onto cooling rack.
While cooling, make icing, if desired.
1. Beat 5 tablespoons cream cheese, 3/4 cup powered sugar, 1 1/2 teaspoons cinnamon, and 1 1/2 teaspoons light brown sugar with hand mixer. Adjust powdered sugar and use about 2-4 tablespoons of milk to create desired consistency. We like it a little more cream cheesy, a little less sweet, and a teeny bit thick but that's the beauty of it all, customize to your liking.
Note: I made the donuts the day before icing them. They were a bit sticky the next day. So I popped the donuts back into the oven at 350 for about 2-3 minutes and then dipped these babies into icing.
This treat. These are incredibly easy. And the pumpkin spice is like whoa. Enjoy them this fall (more than once if you can handle it.)
Before I sign off, I have to give a shout out to by husband and those who took this leap with me. THANK YOU for helping me pursue my own path and loving me through my crazy antics, my over analyzation, and my dreams.
If you're headed towards a crossroads or faced with any difficult decisions, trust your tribe, trust yourself, and take the risk. Read the quotes below as they were pulled from my Instagram feed and GO FOR IT!
Until next time.
Holy moly! Today marks this little blog's first anniversary. Cue the parade and candle-blowing. We shall celebrate with exciting ramblings and a killer Salted Caramel Cheesecake recipe. Yes, we're doubling up on the goodness.
First, I want to thank you all for jumping in on this journey. I wasn't entirely sure what I signed on for when I launched this blog while sitting on the kitchen floor in our wee rental house. You, the awesome readers of the blogesphere, have been encouraging and forgiving. You've come back despite my inconsistent posting schedule. You've made recipes that were depicted in lackluster photos (I promise to get better!). You've shared that you enjoy my rants and words. You've inspired me to be a better cook and baker. You've built my confidence to keep putting forth posts. I now know that blogging is the second best creative release I have. It's a closeclose second to cooking. Hmmmm, I guess this is why Born Daily is primarily a blog with food. And for the record, I find myself on the same pillow on my kitchen floor tip tap typing this post. Oh, the delicious, sugary serendipity of it all.
You might have noticed it has been basically a month (ahem...sigh) since I posted last. Well, life has been busy. Like really busy. I previously posted that we were on the hunt for a house. Well with the help of our main man Saint Joseph and our rockstar realtor, Keely, we found a house, made it through negotiations, etc., AND got our rental sold all within a few weeks of each other. (The rental was only on the market 3 days!) Yes, she's really that good. So just firm that up, yep, next week the Borns are buying a house!! I've been hesitant to write about this because despite my intuition I am a teeny superstitious. So, just for good measure we still have Saint Joseph in his place of honor.
Accordingly, you should expect many adventures in homeownership to fill the coming installments of this blog. More details, and hopefully minimal mishaps, await.
Second, remember that birthday bucket list of sorts I put forward in February...I am slowly working through it. Next week we'll officially cross of #6 (see paragraphs above). I can also cross off #4 since I ran my second half marathon this past weekend! WAHOO! I went in with an unspoken goal and disappointingly didn't meet it BUT the entire run felt better than my first half. That's something, right? And, I might be crazy enough to try to train for another one...er, did I just type that? Chalk that up to a runner's high... Anyhoo, I'm pretty proud to have completed it and got to run it with a longtime bestie (and when I say run "with" I mean we both performed the activity but she's much faster.)
Now, I promised you a kick-butt cheesecake with trendy salted caramel sauce. It is rich, seemingly fancy, and totally something you can make at home. Create some special occasion that warrants a serious dessert (i.e. a blog-versary). It comes to us from Joy the Baker. (Joy was one of the first bloggers I started to read regularly. She mixes humor as well as she does butter and sugar. Check her out.)
I have to confess I originally made this cheesecake for the hubster's 25th birthday, last year. This was weeks before this blog entered my brain as a serious outlet. Thus, I have only one picture of the final result. And, I've already revealed its wonder at the top of this post. So instead of typing the recipe for you, I want to drive you to her site, the original.
I picked this recipe because it didn't require a springform pan. I've gone twenty something years and never acquired a springform pan. Seriously. That probably eats at my baker credit a bit... But nevertheless, I made this in all its flavorful glory and it stands up as a pretty legit cheesecake. And don't fear the caramel. You can do it! BUT if you don't want to do it, it is completely acceptable to melt the caramels and add salt. This treat was the perfect way to usher in his milestone. It lasts a while if there are only two of you.
Speaking of which, I failed to properly give him a blog post for his birthday earlier this month. (And I didn't make him a cheesecake this year either. He requested a DQ ice cream cake (yes, it's true love when you a baker buy a loved one their birthday treat.)) So, husband, happiest belated birthday blog inclusion. May this year be filled with the best adventures, delicious foods, cold grapefruit shandy, and a well-organized bigger garage! Love you for being you, awesome, handsome, talented, you.
You all rock. You really do. Thank you again for making Born Daily part of your online reading habits! It is my sincerest hope that we can continue to grow this blog together. And goodness knows, there's plenty of content ahead! #food24/7 #homeownership :)
Have a great week, friends!
Until next time.